Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Packing and Hoping and Wishing and Waiting

Sir has been very very relaxed lately and I've been pleased to find that he's much more romantically attentive to me when he doesn't need to think or worry about mundane things like dishes and the like. I came up with a list of chores which Sir made some changes to, for me to take care of every day. The list is divided by morning and evening, basically pre-work chores and post-work chores. I find I do okay if I put off my morning chores until I've woken up and then power through but I need to attend my evening chores before I allow myself to relax after work or else it's very hard to get going again. At this stage I just think of how disappointed Sir would be in me if I slipped up and that keeps me on the straight and narrow. I need to wrap up the punishment idea list though just in case.

Today Sir's work had an open house type of event. Normally people who are not working at Sir's work are NOT allowed to be in the building. I saw his work place a few years back at a previous open house but apparently everything had changed. Sir came to collect me from work and because I hadn't requested the time, I was scheduled to work right up until the open house closed.. Sir came early though and I could tell he would feel sad if I didn't even attempt to get out early to make it to the open house. My boss let me leave and we sped over to his work.. we encountered a snafu where I was not allowed to bring my phone into the building and Sir had to run it back to the car, in the freezing cold! He did show me around his workplace though and it was nice to know he was working in a much nicer area, not the very bleak area I had been shown a few years before.

I must admit I was a bit miffed and "bitchy" for the first half of this adventure of ours.. on our way into his work he asked happily if I needed to use the bathroom there (there was a couch inside, as I learned upon our exit) and I gave him a short, snappish no. I was embarrassed at having to ask to leave work early, I was angry that we'd need to double back to the grocery store near where I work to purchase tonight's groceries, and I was worried we didn't have enough time (a half hour) to let me properly see his work place so it would be a waste of time and stressful. After a bit of reflection: I knew it was coming up, if I couldn't remember the date I should have requested Sir place it in our digital calender, it's not a great hardship to have to drive an extra seven minutes back to a grocery store, and it's not a waste of time if it matters to Sir nor does it have to be stressful if I don't make it thus. Ultimately I am very embarrassed by my attitude about the whole situation and am very grateful that Sir has been so forgiving.

Sir was very pleased that I secretly purchased him two books he's been meaning to read, so I suppose that made up for my brattiness earlier in the day. Sir did have to remind me to call him Sir tonight while I lay with him in bed.. I never know when and am thinking at all times in private and in public whenever it feels "right". I don't think Sir would be embarrassed and if anyone noticed or commented I think I'm socially graceful enough to play it off without outing us. I don't want Sir to ever feel that I don't respect him.

In other news and why I am awake right now...

Sir and I are going to be going on our honeymoon in two days! We got married back in September of last year and had put off the honeymoon for various reasons though we had booked it right away. I will be leaving the country and unable to post blog updates, but I plan on keeping a journal. We'll be gone about a week and a half. Right now I am in the process of recording what all I have packed for him and then dividing our belongings among four suitcases. Normally we are tidy and "minimal" packers but decided to go all out for this trip. I am very excited but a bit nervous about disappointing him with my selections. It does feel fantastically intimate though to be trusted to pack for him. And Sir has made many jokes about my need to pack so many dresses and cute outfits when he plans on keeping me naked and destroying my pussy and the rest of my body from every angle, position, and place possible while on this vacation as possible. In any case I absolutely cannot wait and work tomorrow will be torturous! 


Monday, February 18, 2013

How can I be punished? Let me count the ways..

Sir told me he has been wracking his brain for good non-sexual ways to punish me for my transgressions but hasn't thought of many.

Many times when people think of D/s relationships they think of a sub like myself messing up and then being spanked, slapped around, or roughly fucked/sexually used as way of punishment. The problem is, when you enjoy all of the above, it's hardly a punishment.. in fact, it's a good way to get the opposite behavior that's desired from someone like myself. So, a lot of extra thought has to go into punishment for real transgressions by Doms looking for real results.

I have been scouring the internet looking for ideas to help Sir and have been recording them. None of them are sexually exciting to me but I know I would really dislike doing, which is precisely what Sir is looking to employ against me to break me of my poor habits. Ultimately I wish for Sir to be able to punish me quickly and effectively with as little thought and trouble as possible.

Today Sir started small-- besides working at my job, he tasked me to pick up food to prepare for dinner, to change the litter box out for our cat, and to do all of the dishes and clean the kitchen. I must confess on the last one I've been putting off for an embarassingly long time to clean the cannister for the ice cream maker that Sir so generously purchased as a Christmas gift for me. I actually felt quite ashamed cleaning it tonight, because it's an exceptionally poor way to thank someone, mistreating their gift like I did. Sir was pleased with me though and I'm happy. There's still a load in the dishwasher that needs to finish the dry cycle and then I'll put them away.

Three things I would like to personally work on:

1 - When I get home from work, to be better about taking a shower immediately and freshening up as my job is more physical

2 - Keeping an eye on Sir's drink and attending to it, making sure it's filled and he is happy.

3 - Taking Sir's food to and from him as well as the dishes.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Introduction

I'm Q and I am the sub to Sir.

Sir and I have been together since 2005. When we got together we were vanilla, we briefly moved into a D/s relationship, and then we moved back out to vanilla. Sir and I have decided we'd like to proceed with a more strict D/s emotional component and a less strict D/s sexual component. Sir and I are both switches between the sheets-- we enjoy this topsy turvy nature but it's not something we've had to account for before in the past D/s relationship.

This is our journey back to delicious equilibrium and finding our "good".

I am committing to a more pure and straightforward emotional submission experience and Sir will be following a more straightforward emotional dominance. Beyond that our sexual lives will be dictated by his behest and desire and thus our scene-to-scene dominance and submission will go in accordance.

I'm sure I will go into more detail as time goes on, but that's truly all for now!